Bending the Rules

Dear Mum,

Hello! (Also hello to people reading this who aren’t Mum, you exist too, let’s not make this weird.)  Last post you suggested some rules.

I have the following thoughts:

Rule one is very broad. I think what you mean is DON’T WRITE BORING THINGS YOU LITTLE-

I’m going to cut you off before you say a bad word, but yes, I can be engaging (according to my English teacher at least, but English teachers are very unreliable).

Rule two is good. Post on your day. If you don’t you will be punished – more on that later.

Rule 3: I don’t appreciate you calling me a dirty so and so.

Rule 4 seems unnecessary but whatever floats your boat.

I don’t understand rule five but I’m cool with rule six.

Rule seven is great, however don’t be surprised if my photo is completely unrelated to whatever the post is about.

See. That Harry Potter meme was unnecessary and unrelated, but it’s there.

I also have a thing about typos so I think rule ate wil bee fin.

Rule nine is not a rule. It’s just a thing. I suggest we exterminate it.

*insert dalek here*

Rule ten is the same as rule three, so DELETE DELETE YOU WILL BE UPGRADED.

*insert cyber man here*

I suggest this as a final set of rules:

1. Don’t be boring.
2. Blog on your day. Don’t miss a post.
3. Don’t be mean.(We’ll let the haters hate hate hate hate hate. Yes Taylor Swift fans. I see you there.)
4. We will refer to other members of our household as follows: Dad will be Dad. Child will be OA (over achiever) apparently. And the dog is Pip.
5. Include at least one photo with every post.
6. Use grammar and punctuation and stuff and things.

If you have anything to add, then you do you, boo.

Anyway, because I am the devious teenage half of this blogging duo, I think we should put consequences in place for failing to meet rules 2 and 5 (and maybe other ones, we’ll see). Continuing to totally rip off Hank and John (who are the vlogbrothers by the way, not the v-log brothers) I would like to suggest a list of punishments. We can add things on and take things off, these are just suggestions.

Oh, and of course we’ll record these punishments and upload them to my YouTube channel. (I swear that this is not a plan to make a viral video.)

Suggestions:

• Eat a lemon or three.
• Dance to a song from 1986.
• Rap without using the letter e.
• Put underwear on your head and walk around in public like nothing is different (this one shouldn’t be too hard, I’ve done it multiple times before).
• Eat a bowl of cereal without using your hands.
• Tango with a broom for five minutes.

Aww man, now I kind of want to break a rule (broom, you’re looking smashing, may I have this dance?).

Anyway, I think I should stop now because according to you ‘people don’t read long things’.

See you on Wednesday (on the blog, I’ll probably see you extremely soon irl).

From Rose.

P.S If you want Pip to be smaller, I recommend a miniaturisation ray. These can be easily found in clichéd sci-fi movies.

P.P.S Here’s another picture to keep you happy.