The Potentially Fictional Hazards of Desktop Publishing

Dear Mum,

I’m just going to write about what I did today because MANY HOMEWORK, VERY SPORTS, MUCH OBLIGATIONS. And like, a weekend to do it. So…

Animal-memes-this-homework-looks-hard

Context for people who are not my mother: Every Friday atm our school goes to this tafe/uni/fancy schmancy school place, and we learn about boring (did I say boring? Tremendously exciting) adult things. We alternate theory and practical classes.

This week was a ‘theory class’, which is code for six hours of OH&S.

We had to make a list of all the ‘hazards’ that we encountered in the previous weeks practical class. For the people who did cookery or plumbing or electrical engineering, this was fairly straightforward, however I did desktop publishing, which is like the cushiest course in the history of couches.

I pointed this out to the teacher, who replied with, ‘Well, be imaginative.’

So, I present to you:

The Potentially Fictional Hazards of Desktop Publishing

  • Falling off your chair.
  • Chair collapsing under you.
  • Desk collapsing under you.
  • Tripping over cables.
  • Hand injury due to punching of computer due to technical difficulties.
  • Eye strain due to staring at a screen for extended periods of time.
  • Catching a computer virus.untitled.png
  • Invasion of vicious cats from the animal studies department.
  • Someone in engineering successfully created a killer robot and it’s now out to destroy us.
  • Choking on air.
  • Paper cut.
  • Finger injury from excessive typing.
  • Earthquake.
  • Sun expanding and office catching fire.
  • Tripping over a pesky shoelace.
  • Lack of food, water or sleep because you are too engaged in your work.
  • A headache from the amount of times Microsoft crashes.
  • Mosquito bites from window being left open.
  • Dalek invasion from window being left open.
  • Fainting from awe at your own work.
  • Anyway…

So just remember kids, always watch out for daleks. I’m very impressed that Microsoft recognises ‘dalek’ as a word. Maybe Bill Gates is a whovian…0bb7a530d6818d2f73e3eded35d13622.jpg

(Or maybe not, I had to add ‘whovian’ to the dictionary.)

Anyway, must dash, I have poems to slam and a paper on the causes of WWII to send off. Sigh.

Adios!

❤ Rose

P.S

I have Digital Media next week. It better be full of hazards.

P.P.S

Can you change my sheets? The dog slept on by bed and now there is SAND EVERYWHERE.

P.P.P.S

funny-Doctor-Who-Dalek-parent-comic1

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