The Potentially Fictional Hazards of Desktop Publishing

Dear Mum,

I’m just going to write about what I did today because MANY HOMEWORK, VERY SPORTS, MUCH OBLIGATIONS. And like, a weekend to do it. So…


Context for people who are not my mother: Every Friday atm our school goes to this tafe/uni/fancy schmancy school place, and we learn about boring (did I say boring? Tremendously exciting) adult things. We alternate theory and practical classes.

This week was a ‘theory class’, which is code for six hours of OH&S.

We had to make a list of all the ‘hazards’ that we encountered in the previous weeks practical class. For the people who did cookery or plumbing or electrical engineering, this was fairly straightforward, however I did desktop publishing, which is like the cushiest course in the history of couches.

I pointed this out to the teacher, who replied with, ‘Well, be imaginative.’

So, I present to you:

The Potentially Fictional Hazards of Desktop Publishing

  • Falling off your chair.
  • Chair collapsing under you.
  • Desk collapsing under you.
  • Tripping over cables.
  • Hand injury due to punching of computer due to technical difficulties.
  • Eye strain due to staring at a screen for extended periods of time.
  • Catching a computer virus.untitled.png
  • Invasion of vicious cats from the animal studies department.
  • Someone in engineering successfully created a killer robot and it’s now out to destroy us.
  • Choking on air.
  • Paper cut.
  • Finger injury from excessive typing.
  • Earthquake.
  • Sun expanding and office catching fire.
  • Tripping over a pesky shoelace.
  • Lack of food, water or sleep because you are too engaged in your work.
  • A headache from the amount of times Microsoft crashes.
  • Mosquito bites from window being left open.
  • Dalek invasion from window being left open.
  • Fainting from awe at your own work.
  • Anyway…

So just remember kids, always watch out for daleks. I’m very impressed that Microsoft recognises ‘dalek’ as a word. Maybe Bill Gates is a whovian…0bb7a530d6818d2f73e3eded35d13622.jpg

(Or maybe not, I had to add ‘whovian’ to the dictionary.)

Anyway, must dash, I have poems to slam and a paper on the causes of WWII to send off. Sigh.


❤ Rose


I have Digital Media next week. It better be full of hazards.


Can you change my sheets? The dog slept on by bed and now there is SAND EVERYWHERE.



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