I’m just going to write about what I did today because MANY HOMEWORK, VERY SPORTS, MUCH OBLIGATIONS. And like, a weekend to do it. So…
Context for people who are not my mother: Every Friday atm our school goes to this tafe/uni/fancy schmancy school place, and we learn about boring (did I say boring? Tremendously exciting) adult things. We alternate theory and practical classes.
This week was a ‘theory class’, which is code for six hours of OH&S.
We had to make a list of all the ‘hazards’ that we encountered in the previous weeks practical class. For the people who did cookery or plumbing or electrical engineering, this was fairly straightforward, however I did desktop publishing, which is like the cushiest course in the history of couches.
I pointed this out to the teacher, who replied with, ‘Well, be imaginative.’
So, I present to you:
The Potentially Fictional Hazards of Desktop Publishing
- Falling off your chair.
- Chair collapsing under you.
- Desk collapsing under you.
- Tripping over cables.
- Hand injury due to punching of computer due to technical difficulties.
- Eye strain due to staring at a screen for extended periods of time.
- Catching a computer virus.
- Invasion of vicious cats from the animal studies department.
- Someone in engineering successfully created a killer robot and it’s now out to destroy us.
- Choking on air.
- Paper cut.
- Finger injury from excessive typing.
- Sun expanding and office catching fire.
- Tripping over a pesky shoelace.
- Lack of food, water or sleep because you are too engaged in your work.
- A headache from the amount of times Microsoft crashes.
- Mosquito bites from window being left open.
- Dalek invasion from window being left open.
- Fainting from awe at your own work.
So just remember kids, always watch out for daleks. I’m very impressed that Microsoft recognises ‘dalek’ as a word. Maybe Bill Gates is a whovian…
(Or maybe not, I had to add ‘whovian’ to the dictionary.)
Anyway, must dash, I have poems to slam and a paper on the causes of WWII to send off. Sigh.
I have Digital Media next week. It better be full of hazards.
Can you change my sheets? The dog slept on by bed and now there is SAND EVERYWHERE.