This book is part of a genre that Hank Green likes to call, ‘Decapitated YA Fiction Ladies.’ Let me explain using a visual aid;
So that’s interesting.
Also hey, hello, hi, I don’t think I’ve greeted you yet. Greeted is a weird word because I associate it with dogs licking people’s faces because it was probably in Jack Russel Dog Detective (a literary masterpiece) and it’s in a sentence from my childhood that will forever be ingrained in my memory and speaking of sentences aren’t run on sentences great? No? Okay.
Speaking of run on sentences I had English today, and we’re doing the thing where it’s the start of the year so you have to write an autobiography so your new teacher can ‘get to know you.’ I have done this literally every year since about grade three.
Dear English Teacher’s,
Mostly, you’re great. But sometimes, you make us do the same thing over and over and over again. Please alter the curriculum slightly from year to year. That would be great.
Also remove all word limits because I am clearly a waffler, look at ALL THIS WAFFLING.
Pumpkins and penguins,
So I believe that I was talking about my expectations for Cloudwish by Fiona Wood? Yeah, let’s do that, shall we;
Books with rhetorical questions about absurd sounding things on the back of them usually imply that the absurd sounding thing does indeed happen in the book. Wishes that came true because of magic were not a thing! Were they?
Twenty bucks says a wish comes true because of magic. (I don’t have twenty bucks, so if I’m wrong I’ll find you a meme about waffles worth that much money.)
Other things I can learn from the blurb:
- ‘Not even Jane Eyre can help her now.’ Welp, back to amazingly well read English student MCs. (This is fine, I love amazingly well read English student MCs. Sorry Jamie, but it’s February and quadratics are out.)
- The hats on the letters of the MCs name are totally rad, however it makes it slightly impossible to type on this privileged, uncultured keyboard, so the MC will hereby be referred to as the MC.
- Billy Gardiner. You sound like a love interest. Please have more than two dimensions. Cool thanks.
- Fiona, your twitter handle has SO MANY UNDERSCORES. Very with the kids, very hip, I applaud you.
Also, I appreciate the pun on the front of the book.
Okay, I have homework because VCE AAAAAGAHGAHGHGH (I’m fine, nobody panic, just tell me everything you know about the League of Nations in you own words and with a high concentration of polysyllables in the comments).